Why Teenage Girls Are Drawn to Boys: It’s Not Romance, Parenting Mistakes Are the Real Cause

As daughters enter their teenage years, many parents notice a sudden attraction toward boys. While this is often assumed to be a matter of romance, parenting coach Pushpa Sharma says the underlying reasons are often emotional and rooted in parental behavior. According to her, certain mistakes made by parents can unintentionally push teenage girls toward seeking attention and validation from boys.

A Real-Life Example
In a recent Instagram video, Sharma shared an incident she witnessed while traveling from Chandigarh to Delhi. She overheard a mother scolding her 15-year-old daughter over the phone. The girl, on the verge of her 10th board exams, had asked for permission to go out, but the mother’s reaction was sharp and dismissive: “What should I do with this child?” The daughter, feeling unheard, lied to leave the house and met a boy instead.

How Parents Should Respond
Sharma emphasizes that a different reaction could have prevented the situation. A supportive approach like, “I trust you to make a responsible choice about exams and going out. I am here to support you,” could have ensured the girl felt understood and respected. Such communication reduces the need for dishonesty and strengthens parent-child relationships.

The Emotional Needs Behind Teenage Attraction
Teenage girls’ interest in boys is often driven by unmet emotional needs rather than romantic desire. Sharma identifies four core needs:

1. Feeling Accepted: The desire to feel valued and embraced.
2. Being Liked: The need to feel appreciated and liked by others.
3. Being Understood: The longing to be listened to and understood.
4. Feeling Important: The sense of self-worth and significance in relationships.

When parental environments are dominated by anger, blame, or constant criticism, teenage girls naturally gravitate toward anyone outside the home who demonstrates patience, attention, and emotional understanding. This is not a reflection of poor character but rather a response to an emotional void.

Parenting Takeaway
Sharma advises parents to foster communication, empathy, and understanding at home. A supportive environment, where teens feel heard and validated, reduces the likelihood of seeking attention elsewhere. Addressing these emotional needs early on helps build trust, reduces conflicts, and guides adolescents toward healthy, balanced relationships.