In many Indian households, the pressure to have a child begins almost immediately after marriage. If a couple does not conceive within a year or two, concern quickly turns into relentless questioning, unsolicited advice, and emotional pressure—often coming not from society at large, but from one’s own family.
Shreya Pandey, a 30-year-old working woman, recently shared her deeply personal experience of how delayed family planning turned into a source of constant stress and emotional trauma due to pressure from close relatives.
“When Are You Giving the Good News?”
Shreya recalls that two years into her marriage, the questions became unavoidable.
“Whether it was my maternal home or my in-laws’ place, everyone kept asking the same thing—‘When are you giving us good news?’” she says.
“If not now, then when? You’ll regret it later. Doctors say you must plan early.”
What began as casual questions soon turned into warnings and fear-mongering, making her feel as though delaying pregnancy would permanently ruin her chances of motherhood.
“I’ll Plan a Baby—Just Let Me Change My Job First”
At the time, Shreya was 28 and focused on her career. She explained to her mother and mother-in-law that doctors generally advise planning pregnancy before 30—and she still had time.
“I wanted to change my job first,” she explains.
“I had already spent three years in my current company. I knew that once I had a baby, switching jobs would become much harder. Managing a newborn with a new job would be extremely challenging.”
Despite her reasoning, the pressure did not stop.
“They kept repeating the same thing every few days—‘Your age is passing, later it won’t happen.’ Nothing I said seemed to matter.”
Giving Up Career Plans, But Still No Success
Exhausted by constant taunts and emotional pressure, Shreya eventually gave up her job-change plans and decided to start trying for a baby.
However, months passed without success.
“Four to five months went by, and nothing happened. I was already scared because of everything they had been saying,” she says.
“I insisted we consult a doctor.”
Medical tests revealed that her AMH (Anti-Müllerian Hormone) levels were low, and the doctor advised continued attempts, warning that IVF might be needed if natural conception didn’t happen soon.
“That moment shattered me. I kept blaming myself—thinking maybe my family was right after all.”
“Now Do IVF and Spend Lakhs”
When the family was informed, instead of reassurance, Shreya faced harsh reactions.
“They said, ‘Girls today don’t listen. We told you to do it on time. Now spend lakhs on IVF. Who knows if it will even work the first time.’”
Hearing these words—especially from her own mother—left her devastated.
“I cried uncontrollably. My mind stopped working. I couldn’t understand why my own mother couldn’t see what this pressure was doing to me.”
A Second Opinion Changed Everything
At her lowest point, it was her husband who intervened.
“He said, ‘Crying won’t help. This is a big decision—we won’t depend on just one doctor’s opinion.’”
The couple consulted another doctor over the weekend. After reviewing the reports, the second doctor reassured them.
“She said, ‘Who says IVF is the only option? Let’s try medicines, lifestyle changes, and some exercises first.’”
Shreya followed every instruction carefully. Two months later, she conceived naturally.
“When I saw the two pink lines, the entire family celebrated,” she says.
The Question That Still Remains
Despite the happy ending, Shreya is left with a lingering question.
“Why is there so much pressure after marriage? Why don’t families understand what couples go through emotionally and mentally?”
“Fear, guilt, and constant taunts don’t help—support and patience do.”
Her story reflects the silent struggle of countless couples who face emotional distress due to societal and familial expectations around motherhood—often forgetting that every journey to parenthood is different, and every woman deserves empathy, not pressure.
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