Mother Shares Child’s ‘Problem’ With Doctor, Child Looks Down in Shame; Expert Warns Parents Against This Harmful Practice

Every parent wants the best for their child and makes sincere efforts to ensure a bright future. However, in this process, many parents unknowingly adopt behaviours that deeply affect a child’s emotional well-being. A recent incident shared by Paediatrician Dr Madhavi Bhardwaj highlights why parents must be extremely careful about how they talk about their children.

Dr Bhardwaj recounts an incident from her OPD where a mother brought her five-year-old son for consultation. The mother complained that the child “does not study at all” and expressed concern that “his mind doesn’t work properly.” She added that despite repeated efforts, the child forgets everything by the next day and has an upcoming examination, which was causing her great anxiety.

While the mother spoke, the child stood silently in a corner with his eyes lowered. According to the doctor, the child’s body language clearly reflected shame and fear, as though every sentence spoken by his mother made him more uncomfortable.

Publicly Highlighting a Child’s Shortcomings Is Harmful

Dr Bhardwaj firmly stated that this parenting approach is completely wrong. She stressed that parents should never speak negatively about their child in front of others—whether it is a doctor, neighbour, friend or relative.

“Even I am a doctor, but parents often make such remarks about their children in front of neighbours, relatives and friends,” she said. “At that moment, the child becomes nothing more than a topic of gossip.”

The expert advised that if parents genuinely believe someone can help, they should discuss the issue privately and present it as a genuine concern—never in the child’s presence.

Words From Parents Leave the Deepest Impact

Explaining the psychological impact, Dr Bhardwaj gave an example: if a stranger casually comments on someone’s appearance, it may not matter much. But the same words spoken by a close friend or spouse can linger in the mind all day. For a child, parents are their entire world, and their words carry the greatest weight.

“When parents repeatedly point out flaws or weaknesses, it directly affects a child’s self-esteem and confidence,” she explained. “The child begins to doubt themselves and may start believing that something is fundamentally wrong with them.”

A Call for Sensitive Parenting

Experts emphasize that children view themselves through their parents’ eyes. Constant criticism, comparisons or public complaints can leave long-lasting emotional scars. Instead, parents are encouraged to correct and guide children with patience, empathy and understanding, fostering confidence rather than shame.

Parents must remember: this way of parenting is not right and should never be practiced.